Pregnancy Post: 33 weeks, Maternity Pics by my sweet sissy Cortney

The story of baby girl Olson thus far....

(WARNING: this is a long detailed description of what has been going on with our unborn baby. Mostly for my records, don't feel the need to read unless you are interested in knowing.)

I have had the last 9 weeks to deal with the reality of what I was told at my 24 week checkup. I haven't had the emotional capacity to sit down and write it all out until now. We are getting close to the point of delivering her, and I know there are many who are concerned and wanting to stay updated. I'll do my best to tell the story of what has happened up until this point, and I'm hoping to continue to update my blog regularly regarding baby girls condition. Please bear with me as I try my best to use my foggy brain!

At our 20 week ultrasound we were told that the baby's kidneys looked brighter than normal or what they called echogenic. We were also told that she had something called a choroid plexus cyst, which is a cyst that commonly develops from the spinal fluid but usually goes away and causes no problems (It can also be tied to trisomy 18 in a small amount of cases). We  were then directed to come back in 4 weeks to see if the cyst was gone and take another look at her kidneys. 

I had done my research on both of the findings and knew that the odds were in our favor as far as her being born perfectly normal and the doctors just being overly cautious by telling us these things. I hadn't been experiencing any out of the ordinary symptoms besides some tenderness in my belly that I had been told is usually due to scar tissue from a previous pregnancy. 

So the day came for the 24 week ultrasound and I told Ben he didn't have to cancel his appointments at work and I would just call him as soon as I left the doctor. Silly me. I even took Cash with me thinking it would be quick and painless. Not smart on my part. As soon as the ultrasound tech put the probe on my belly I could see that something wasn't right. It was almost impossible to separate the baby's body from my intestines. Everything looked smashed together and within about 1 minute the ultrasound tech said, "Ok Andrea, I'm really worried so I'm going to go get the doctor". I immediately felt sick to my stomach and grabbed my phone to call Ben and tell him to come right away. He left work instantly. 

The doctor came in and explained to me that I had almost NO detectable amniotic fluid left and that the baby's kidneys were slightly enlarged now. Because we aren't sure when I lost all fluid, the babies lungs might not be fully developed now either. He told me I needed to go over to the closest hospital where he had already called a Perinatologist who would be waiting to see me. He then recommended that I have someone come pick up my son because the news was not going to be good........I broke down and could barely get myself together enough to drive the 3 or so blocks to the hospital. 

The next 3 or 4 weeks are kind of a big blur in my mind. I feel like I took a crash course in Maternal Fetal Medicine and all the crazy terminology that goes along with it. I also feel that I learned more about myself as a mother then I had in the last 3 1/2 years of raising my son. Initially we were told to expect her to have trisomy 18 (because of the cysts) and be born severly deformed and mentally disabled. She would live 2-3 days at most. I was told it would be perfectly acceptable to choose to end the pregnancy at that point. I could NEVER. Although the reality of her being inside with no fluid was very unsettling. I understood that it meant we would need to deliver her earlier than expected in order to try to avoid cord compression on the inside. I also understood that she will have muscular deformities as a result of no fluid and not enough room to develop. Next, after looking into family medical history on both sides of the family, one of the Genetic counselors had come to the conclusion that my side of the family carried a gene for a condition call Autosomal dominant polycystic kidney disease (because my mom had been told that she had some cysts on her kidneys once). This diagnosis sent us all into a tail spin because it meant that my mom would most likely go into kidney failure in the next few years, and that I had a 50% chance of kidney failure before I was 40. So not only was my baby not going to make it, my mom and I were soon going to be very ill. 

The more we worked through these two possibilities, the more we felt unsure that the doctors were on the right track. Luckily, somewhere around 28 weeks the doctors said they felt the same. They said they were feeling puzzled by the whole situation because nothing seemed to be adding up. They said she might just come out with her own little story and we won't know anything for sure until she is born. It's strange, but having no diagnosis is for some reason much easier to handle then having a definite answer. It leaves more room for hope. 

Flash forward to 31 weeks and what feels like 500 appointments later. The discomfort of carrying a baby with no amniotic fluid is wearing on my body. The anxiety of making one wrong move and compressing her cord is making it extremely hard to sleep. The emotional stress of the roller-coaster we have been on is making me a crazy person. I'm feeling like a celebrity at the hospital because everyone knows everything about me and baby and what a puzzling case we are. Up until this point the doctors were planning to deliver baby by c-section at 32 weeks (before the risk of cord compression gets too great). We decide that in order to give her the best chance for survival, we will transfer my care up to the University of Utah Hospital so that all the specialists at Primary Childrens will be available to treat the baby as soon as she is out. After meeting with the doctors at U of U it is determined that if we were to deliver her at this point, she would not be big enough to withstand whatever treatment she might need for her kidneys so, with the risk of cord compression getting greater everyday, we need to try to keep her inside until at least 36 or 37.......So hard for me to hear. But I KNEW I would never make any decisions that wouldn't be giving her the best chance possible so I KNEW I would find a way to make it another 4-5 weeks. 

So, here I am. 33 weeks and counting every minute until I get to meet my beautiful little daughter and give her a fighting chance at life. As a family, we still have so many unanswered questions as to what this will mean for our future in having more children. But all we can focus on now is that she is still growing strong and keeping us all on our toes. I am still working through all the worries and concerns I have for my little one as her mother, but I feel stronger emotionally and mentally every day. I feel blessed to know that I could possibly give her a kidney once she is strong enough, and there is nothing I would want more then for us to make it to that point. It is amazing how much love I have for her already and how strongly I feel about her being my baby forever regardless of how her life "here" turns out. What an amazing blessing it is to be a mommy. 

My sister Cortney did some Maternity pictures for me so that I would have some good memories of this pregnancy. Even though I feel so not like myself from being so emotional and on partial bedrest, I feel like she did an amazing job at capturing my feelings towards my little sweety. Thanks Cort.